Death to kitten heels!
Kitten heels are the devil! They are not only ugly, but they disguise themselves as the comfortable functional option…even though they are not necessarily either! Unless you are 6’7”, kitten heels are damaging to the figure, and can make a short or curvaceous woman look like Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter! Let’s not even talk about the “cankle look” that they sometimes accentuate or maybe even cause! Sometimes trading high heels for kitten heels in the name of comfort is counterproductive! Some of the kitten heels on the market today are the most uncomfortable shoes out there…yes, I have tried on a few pair in the name of science! I just don’t know what good they do in the world?!? Unless I am wearing a vintage 50’s/60’s dress complete with pillbox hat, I will never wear them in public….or even in my bathroom for that matter.
Even though I hate kitten heels like kids hate brussel sprouts, I can admit when someone rocks the hell out of a trend. I’m not a complete kitten heel basher; okay well maybe I am a little bit. But, I have seen some people wear kitten heels quite stylishly. If you’re a taller woman or have some sort of back or knee problem, it is totally acceptable to wear kitten heels. But other than that…just please don’t. Lily Aldridge wore kitten heels to the CFDA Awards!?!?! I wanted to crawl in a hole and die for her! Taylor Swift makes it work because she usually rocks them with a vintage outfit. The FLOTUS makes it work because she is a bit on the tall side…and she’s the friggin FLOTUS so she got it like that. No one else gets a pass, you may not pass Go, you may not collect $200!
Now, novelty kitten heels may work. The Mary Jane Kitten heels in the picture below are unique enough to be a novelty item and not quite high enough to be a bona fide kitten heel. They are kinda cute. Also, the kitten heels with different objects as a heel instead of the regular boxed heel or stiletto can be worked with.
I’m having a really hard time with devil’s advocating for kitten heels…so I’m gonna stop now. Just please don’t believe the hype, and don’t let Louboutin or Ferragamo trick you into believing that these things are stylish. And remember, if you’re gonna do it, please do it as right as possible.