Kitten Heels are the Devil! Weekend Rant

Death to kitten heels!

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Kitten heels are the devil! They are not only ugly, but they disguise themselves as the comfortable functional option…even though they are not necessarily either! Unless you are 6’7”, kitten heels are damaging to the figure, and can make a short or curvaceous woman look like Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter! Let’s not even talk about the “cankle look” that they sometimes accentuate or maybe even cause!  Sometimes trading high heels for kitten heels in the name of comfort is counterproductive! Some of the kitten heels on the market today are the most uncomfortable shoes out there…yes, I have tried on a few pair in the name of science! I just don’t know what good they do in the world?!? Unless I am wearing a vintage 50’s/60’s dress complete with pillbox hat, I will never wear them in public….or even in my bathroom for that matter.

Kitten Heels
I want to put these in a horror movie just so I can yell ‘DIE DIE DIE’ at them.

Even though I hate kitten heels like kids hate brussel sprouts, I can admit when someone rocks the hell out of a trend. I’m not a complete kitten heel basher; okay well maybe I am a little bit. But, I have seen some people wear kitten heels quite stylishly. If you’re a taller woman or have some sort of back or knee problem, it is totally acceptable to wear kitten heels. But other than that…just please don’t. Lily Aldridge wore kitten heels to the CFDA Awards!?!?! I wanted to crawl in a hole and die for her! Taylor Swift makes it work because she usually rocks them with a vintage outfit. The FLOTUS makes it work because she is a bit on the tall side…and she’s the friggin FLOTUS so she got it like that. No one else gets a pass, you may not pass Go, you may not collect $200!

Kitten Heels
Yes Taylor! Retro Outfit calls for retro shoes.
Kitten Heels
FLOTUS wears kitten heels with grace!
Kitten Heels
This is wrong on SOOO many different levels. The murder of a perfectly good dress
Kitten Heels
Kitten heels are acceptable…if your under 10 or over 50!

Now, novelty kitten heels may work. The Mary Jane Kitten heels in the picture below are unique enough to be a novelty item and not quite high enough to be a bona fide kitten heel. They are kinda cute. Also, the kitten heels with different objects as a heel instead of the regular boxed heel or stiletto can be worked with.

Kitten Heels
Again…no SO bad.
Kitten Heels
These aren’t so bad…so long as you wear a fringe flapper dress to match.

I’m having a really hard time with devil’s advocating for kitten heels…so I’m gonna stop now. Just please don’t believe the hype, and don’t let Louboutin or Ferragamo trick you into believing that these things are stylish. And remember, if you’re gonna do it, please do it as right as possible.

5 comments

  1. Aloïs

    I thought that before Isabel released her version of the kitten heels two years ago. Now I think they are very fashionable and the girls of the Vogue Paris think so too! Check there http://fr.pinterest.com/pin/513128951268397944/The models you chose are very old fashioned though and proove your point.
    For the girls who wanna check it out, I wrote an article about how to wear kitten heels without looking mumsy. http://dresslikeaparisian.com/how-to-wear-black-kitten-heels-without-looking-mumsy/

  2. Sana Iqbal

    I was talking to my sis about kitten heels today. I offered her a pair of mine but I said they were uncomfortable. Then it occured to me that I should just throw them out after she said she had also thrown out a pair. Throwing them out hasn’t occured to me for the last several years even though these heels caused me some great pain in my lower leg tendons. To top it all off I bought a pair of wedge cork sandals today and they’re super comfy. I am relatively tall so I always told myself I didn’t need to go through the pain of high heels. Apparently I shouldn’t have been going to kitten heels to solve my problems. By the way these kitten heels were purchased from WHBM.

    • Krystal Orr

      Sana, I feel your struggle lol. But kitten heels are not the answer. Actually a cute 2 or 3 inch wedge is the optimal option for my vertically gifted ladies out there! They are super cute, super comfy, and don’t look like take away’s from the costume department at Mad Men. Glad you have seen the light LOL. I love a cute kitten heel with a matching vintage 50’s-esque outfit, but they don’t work with much else. But they certainly do hurt like the devil!

    • Krystal Orr

      You are absolutely right! There are so many other alternatives to the kitten heel! Wedges, espadrilles, platforms, square heels, anything is better than taking that road. lol Thanks for stopping by.

      Stick Out!