Jealousy is often a part of our dirty laundry.
The controversial song by Kelly Rowland called Dirty Laundry has got me asking myself some heavy questions. In the song she talks about bad and abusive relationships, missed opportunities, and being jealous of Beyonce! Yep…that’s right…she said it! This isn’t so shocking, and let’s be honest, we were all thinking it. What really sparked a conversation with myself about this song is…why? Why are we in such fierce invisible competition with each other? We compare ourselves to our friends, family members, strangers off the street. Why can’t we just be happy with who, where, and what we are?!
Here’s why! Because society pits us against each other and we never try to stop it. Instead, we feed into it. In elementary school we want to jump rope better than her. In Jr. High we want to grow boobs before her. In high school we want the boy to notice us instead of her. And in adulthood we want a man who will love us like her husband loves her, we want hair as long as hers, we want to be as thin as her. Nothing will change until we stop letting people (mostly men) dictate our worth. Our value should not be in comparison to someone else’s. You don’t see many Americans in the grocery store wondering how much their bill would have come to in British Pounds instead of dollars. Why? Because it doesn’t matter! You’re not in the UK, you’re not visiting from the UK, and you’re not planning to convert your money for any reason…you’re in the US spending dollars! Why wonder when it doesn’t matter? Ladies…it doesn’t matter.
Your unique qualities are what make you valuable, not your ability to be identical to someone else in the world.
I see this every day in the blogosphere. We’ll call it the Dirty Laundry syndrome. Girls who think their blog sucks because they’re not wearing Marc Jacobs in their personal style pics. There are bloggers who constantly compare themselves to the likes of Susie Bubble or the Bag Snob ladies. The problem here is this…If your blog was identical or even similar to one of those, people probably wouldn’t read it. Your unique qualities are what make you valuable, not your ability to be identical to someone else in the world. Your view point, aesthetics, garment choices…all these things are what set you apart. It’s an automatic niche…if you will…and an automatic differentiation between you and the next girl.
We can all get caught up in comparisons, wishing we have what they have, and wanting to be in a different place. But, three things always keep me grounded. 1. I know that no one else in this world has my finger print and that makes me unique. 2. The person you wish you were more like may not have it as together as it seems, and may be wishing to be someone else as well. 3. If we were all the same, the world would be a pretty boring place. Air that dirty laundry and move on…because it can only hold you back.