Animal Print DON’TS: A Soar Thumb PSA

There are just some ways that animal prints should not be worn, here they are!

animal print

Today I was on the time sucking vortex of a website that is Buzzfeed! Actually it’s not a complete time waster, because I actually come up with some good content ideas. Today was no different, because I present to you an entire post on how NOT to wear animal prints! The hilarity that follows is a bit out of my element, but I had to let you guys know what is not okay. I know you’re thinking…”But Krystal, aren’t we supposed to be Soaring? Sticking out?” Yes, but in a Carrie Bradshaw kinda way, not a Zoolander kinda way!

Now, I know I said that I missed the old Nicki Minaj when she fired her team and hired a bunch of safe, scared, fashion pussies. But, Ms. Minaj should have consulted somebody else when her team made this decision. We won’t even bother with the bride of Frankenstein hair. This outfit mixes at least three different centuries of style and someone thought it was a good idea to throw a print on top of the mashup madness! *Blank Stare* NEXT!

animal print
Nicki….nevermind.

You all know about my hatred for kitten heels. I think they are the spawn of Satan and should be abolished. It looked good when they were first introduced in the fucking 50’s, but now they are just ugly lazy alternatives. But my sweet honey baby children, if you insist upon wearing them, DO NOT wear them dipped in a vat of animal print! This is fashion fuckery at its finest.

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Just…WTF?!

Who the hell kills a deer for fashion? Nuff said!

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You evil Bambi KILLER!!!!!!

Leave colorful animal print in the 90’s where it belongs. There are reasons why we can travel the space time contiuum. This dress makes my head hurt!

animal print
Nope, I don’t believe this is a real item for sale. NO!

Leopard print from head to toe at any age is not cool. And involving your grandchildren in the catastrophe is unfair and cruel! Lol

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animal print
Scary lady in leopard print! Just because you are a cougar, doesn’t mean you have to dress like one.

I don’t think this coat needs any intro, caption, or explanation. But if you need one to keep up with the flow of the post, here goes: Don’t fucking do this, EVER! Cat faces are technically an animal print, but the only people who should do it are nurses and vets. Maybe one of those cute silhouette printed shirts from JCPenny, but not this, EVER!

Animal print
What Tha Fuck Is Thaaat?!
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This is an acceptabe cat print garment.

And this lady.

Animal print
This lady has life fucked up!

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